August 21, 2007 by

at least I’m housebroken.


We’re scattering the fucking ashes

August 20, 2007 by

Walter —


Sir, please lower your voice.

Hey man, don’t you have something else we could put him in?

This is our most modestly priced receptacle.

GODDAMMIT!  Is there a Ralph’s around here?


August 19, 2007 by

Uli Kunkel?  Her co-star in the beaver picture?

Beaver?  Uh, you mean vagina?  I mean, you know the guy?

Phone’s ringing, Dude

August 16, 2007 by

Thank you, Donny.

Does the female form make you uncomfortable, Mr. Lebowski?

August 15, 2007 by

Oh, is that what this is a picture of?

In a sense, yes.  My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal, which bothers some men.  The word itself makes some men uncomfortable.  Vagina.

Oh yeah?

Yes, they don’t like hearing it and find it difficult to say, whereas without batting an eye a man will talk about his “dick,” or his “rod,” or his “johnson.”


Did I urinate on your rug?

August 12, 2007 by

You mean, did you personally come and pee on my ..

Hello!  Do you speak English?  Parla-usted Inglese?  I’ll say it again.  Did I urinate on your rug?

No, like I said … Woo … peed on the rug.

Oh boy

August 11, 2007 by

How you gonna keep ’em down on the farm once they’ve seen Karl Hungus.


August 10, 2007 by

The royal we.

Fucking Germans.

August 9, 2007 by

Nothing changes.  Fucking Nazis.

They were Nazis, Dude?

Come on Donny, they were threatening castration!


Are we gonna split hairs here?

Does he still write?

August 7, 2007 by

Oh, no, he has health problems.

Could you slide your shorts down, Mr. Lebowski please?

August 6, 2007 by

What?  Uh, no, man, she hit me right here.

Do you like sex, Mr. Lebowski?

August 5, 2007 by

Excuse me?

Sex. The physical act of love. Coitus. Do you like it?

I was talking about my rug.

You’re not interested in sex?

You mean coitus?

At 15 m.p.h. I roll outta here

August 4, 2007 by

double back, grab one of ’em, and beat it out of him.  Give me the uzi.


Didn’t think I was rollin’ outta here naked, did ya?

He’s a good man

August 3, 2007 by

and thorough.

My advice to you is to do what your parents did

August 2, 2007 by

Get a job, sir!

Oh please, dear?

August 1, 2007 by

For your information the Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint!

I’ll suck your cock for a thousand dollars

July 31, 2007 by

Brandt can’t watch though, or he has to pay a hundred.


July 30, 2007 by

Who’s the fucking nihilists around here?

Just one thing, Dude

July 29, 2007 by

Yeah, what’s what?

Do you have to use so many dang cuss words?

What the fuck are you talking about?

You ever hear of the Seattle Seven?

July 28, 2007 by


That was me . . . and six other guys.