Archive for August, 2007

Look, just stay away from my fucking lady friend

August 30, 2007

Hey, I’m not messing with your special lady.

She’s not my special lady, she’s my fucking lady friend.  I’m just helping her conceive, man.

Friends like these, huh, Gary?

August 27, 2007

That’s right, Dude.

You brought a fucking Pomeranian bowling?

August 26, 2007

I didn’t bring it bowling. I didn’t rent it shoes. I’m not buying it a fucking beer. He’s not taking your fucking turn, Dude.

This aggression

August 24, 2007

will not stand.

The man in the black pajamas, Dude. Worthy fucking adversary.

August 23, 2007

Who’s in pajamas, Walter?

Shut the fuck up, Donny.

Hey

August 21, 2007

at least I’m housebroken.

We’re scattering the fucking ashes

August 20, 2007

Walter —

JUST BECAUSE WE’RE BEREAVED DOESN’T MEAN WE’RE SAPS!

Sir, please lower your voice.

Hey man, don’t you have something else we could put him in?

This is our most modestly priced receptacle.

GODDAMMIT!  Is there a Ralph’s around here?

Uli?

August 19, 2007

Uli Kunkel?  Her co-star in the beaver picture?

Beaver?  Uh, you mean vagina?  I mean, you know the guy?

Phone’s ringing, Dude

August 16, 2007

Thank you, Donny.

Does the female form make you uncomfortable, Mr. Lebowski?

August 15, 2007

Oh, is that what this is a picture of?

In a sense, yes.  My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal, which bothers some men.  The word itself makes some men uncomfortable.  Vagina.

Oh yeah?

Yes, they don’t like hearing it and find it difficult to say, whereas without batting an eye a man will talk about his “dick,” or his “rod,” or his “johnson.”

Johnson?

Did I urinate on your rug?

August 12, 2007

You mean, did you personally come and pee on my ..

Hello!  Do you speak English?  Parla-usted Inglese?  I’ll say it again.  Did I urinate on your rug?

No, like I said … Woo … peed on the rug.

Oh boy

August 11, 2007

How you gonna keep ’em down on the farm once they’ve seen Karl Hungus.

I

August 10, 2007

The royal we.

Fucking Germans.

August 9, 2007

Nothing changes.  Fucking Nazis.

They were Nazis, Dude?

Come on Donny, they were threatening castration!

Uh-huh.

Are we gonna split hairs here?

Does he still write?

August 7, 2007

Oh, no, he has health problems.

Could you slide your shorts down, Mr. Lebowski please?

August 6, 2007

What?  Uh, no, man, she hit me right here.

Do you like sex, Mr. Lebowski?

August 5, 2007

Excuse me?

Sex. The physical act of love. Coitus. Do you like it?

I was talking about my rug.

You’re not interested in sex?

You mean coitus?

At 15 m.p.h. I roll outta here

August 4, 2007

double back, grab one of ’em, and beat it out of him.  Give me the uzi.

Uzi?!

Didn’t think I was rollin’ outta here naked, did ya?

He’s a good man

August 3, 2007

and thorough.

My advice to you is to do what your parents did

August 2, 2007

Get a job, sir!